Are You Spoiling Your Own Marriage?

Today I had a chance to see if I’d learned anything at all about loving my husband.

I’m gonna show you two photos I took in my kitchen this morning.

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A few weeks ago my Bible Reading plan took me through the Song of Solomon.
There we find Solomon sweet-talking his beloved.
Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.(Song of Sol. 2:15)

Now you’re wondering what do those pictures have to do with that Bible verse.
I used to think those little bits of trash left on the countertops were like the little foxes that spoil the tender grapes.
But I was wrong.
They are just little bits of trash that take a nanosecond to toss into the trash compactor.

The little foxes are my negative response toward my husband that prompt me to criticize and nag him.
The real little fox is my insistence on having things my way around the house.
That’s what ends up spoiling the tender grapes.

That word spoil means to corrupt, to offend, to ruin.

Marriage is a big life-long commitment to loving another.
And love, according to 1 Corinthians 13, does not insist on its own way.
Bad news for us control-freaks, but good news for our marriages.

Love keeps things in perspective.
Trash on the countertop is nothing.
It’s not abandonment or infidelity.
On a scale of personal vices it’s positively minor, but it used to drive me nuts.
Short drive, right.

Notice Solomon says, “Take us the little foxes”.
Us.
Sometimes you have to tackle this stuff together.
Sometimes you have to share with the one you love the thing that gets under your skin.
Sometimes you have to work together to remove every little hindrance to love.

Sometimes, but not this time.

I’ve written here before about being a good wife.
https://kellyjgrace.com/2012/08/12/what-does-it-take-to-be-a-good-wife/

Today I decided to BUILD NOT BREAK.
Proverbs 14:1 has that very message.
Build don’t break.

In the interest of full disclosure here’s what makes my husband crazy?
The stuff I unloaded out of my car.

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The little raised hearth in the Breakfast Nook is so convenient.
Too convenient.
That’s getting put away as soon as I finish this post!

God must have thought this relationship lesson needed another layer of reinforcement.
When I stepped out on my front porch I noticed the destruction of my coleus plants.
A week ago I noticed some little holes in their beautiful leaves.
Now those little holes have accumulated and the health of parts of those plants is threatened.
The plants reminded me that the little wounds we inflict can eventually add up to real damage.

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Today I loved my husband enough to toss out his trash and not allow it to be a hindrance to our love and our marriage.
The tender grapes are safe for now.
One victory at a time.

3 Comments on “Are You Spoiling Your Own Marriage?

  1. Pingback: How Do You Measure Your Own Spiritual Growth? | A Really Full Life

  2. Beautiful. Lovely post. I see those same Keurig cups on my counter. So funny. You remind my heart to think of how much God overlooks my offenses.

    • Hi Kelly, Thanks for stopping by. You’re right—God loves us in spite of our faults and foibles.
      Curious how you managed to find this old post?
      The day I posted it my notifications went crazy. It was viewed and shared more than any other post before or since. I guess that says that we all struggle with ‘becoming one’;) God uses marriage to teach us to be like Jesus, we should have known it wasn’t gonna come naturally.
      PS great blog name 😉

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