Humor

The Invention of Clutter

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The California Ranch Style Home & The Invention of Clutter

The California Ranch Style Home: Two Car Garage With Attached House

Tomorrow is Saturday in America and that means Garage Sales.

 

Why do we have so much clutter?
Magazine articles tell us how to organize it, how to get rid of it, and how it makes us feel emotionally & psychologically stressed.
Those are simply band-aids people!!!
We’ll never find a permanent solution to clutter until we find the cause.

3 Theories on The Origins of Clutter in America by Kelly Grace

Theory #1

I blame it all on the Ranch Style house designed for the wide open spaces of the
west where land was cheap and cars were our birth right.

With cars came garages and that led to an unprecedented increase in storage capacity.

I’m sure one of the laws of Physics says that stuff expands to fill all the available space.
It’s possible Physicists have missed that law while wasting their time on useless research into the currently hip ‘God particle’ and String Theory.

Theory #2

American homes have some kind of weird undiscovered electrical charge that powerfully attracts random useless items.
These eventually make their way into our closets and drawers.

Within a few years there’s no more room for new things.
But we were all so patriotically concerned about the recession we rushed out to do our part as consumers.
Meanwhile getting some
retail therapy in order to cope with the financial stress that began in 2008.

Theory #3

It’s bad geography.
You know, like longitude and latitude.
It’s not us personally or nationally at all, just a freak gravitational occurrence related to our hot spot on the globe.

I mean, can you picture the tiny houses and flats in Europe bursting at the seams?
And who in their right mind is gonna carry all that junk up 3 flights of narrow stairs and live with it underfoot?

The answer has to be one of these three: the garages attached to Ranch Style Houses, weird electrical charges, or bad geography.

Today is the 28th.
28/2=14 ***don’t look for any logic for this step. I knew you’d never have the patience to list 28 things.
What 14 things would you try to sell if you were having a Garage Sale today?

I’d sell:
* 2 lamps I’m never gonna spray paint to look like the Mercury finish ones in the PotteryBarn catalogue
* 1 big box of yarns for knitting projects I can’t make because I’ve now lost the directions
* 1 old refrigerator my husband has filled with enough soda for a year
* 9 hardback John Grisham novels
* 1 8-way hand tied spring, down-stuffed, butter yellow Herringbone fabric upholstered sofa with cream colored fluffy cotton fringe

Wouldn’t it be funny if Garages caused clutter and Garage Sales cured it?

PS The best time to hit a Garage Sale is 8AM and take lots of cash in small denominations—and NEVER pay what they’re asking:)

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My passion is to help you discover how God’s word can reach down into your heart and produce amazing transformations in you, your relationships, and your influence in the world around you. 
 Sound good?

Hi, I'm Kelly

Blogger, Jesus Girl, Grace-believing optimist

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