Are You a Good Wife?

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, Are You a Good Wife?

A successful marriage is like an edifice that must be rebuilt everyday.
André Maurois

I took this photo in Venice and just missed the kiss that preceded this cheek squeeze.
Can you see the face of the young woman on the left of the couple.
Like me, she was amused at this man’s affection for his wife.
It made me wonder what kind of wife she was.
Was she a good wife?

She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
Provers 31:12

Like so many things in life, being a good wife comes down to motive.
Day by day and year by year motive makes all the difference in being a good wife, or not

What comes to mind when you hear that phrase?
Can you describe a good wife’s relationship with her husband?
Think about what she does, how she speaks to him, how she responds to him.
You have a picture in your mind, now tell me WHY you think she does what she does, says the things she says, and responds the way she responds.

If she’s a good wife her motive is to do him good and not harm all throughout her life.
It’s the daily repetition of good that makes the Proverbs 31 Woman such a powerful example for us.
How can she keep it up day after day?
If you’ve read through the chapter you know the praise she receives from her husband.
Yesterday we saw that he has complete trust in her commitment to their marriage and to him personally.
He knows her worth.
He gets it.

Marriage isn’t a 50/50 partnership.
Thinking it is will lock you into score keeping mode.
And that never leads to happiness for either of you.
Instead focus on being a 100% wife.

Am I wrong?
I don’t think so.

Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
Proverbs 14:1

Are you prone to complaints and comparisons?
I want to challenge you to stop them and try it God’s way.
Do him good and not harm ~ every day.
Do it by faith.
Do it because it’s part of the vows you made.

If you’re reading this you’re probably invested in your marriage.
Sometimes we just get distracted by life, by kids, or by careers.
We get a little lazy or a little selfish and we forget to maintain, much less grow, our relationship with our husbands.
Men aren’t the only ones who sometimes take a spouse for granted.

I just discovered that a year ago I wrote about this same subject, but from a more personal perspective. I’ll include the link here so that I can find it again myself!!!

I saw this list of 20 Simple Ways to Make Someone Happy.
My own choices:
1. Make eye contact.
8. Offer encouragement
10. Be mysterious
16. Make him laugh
17. Listen
19. Put him first
20. Speak kind words

Which ones do you think your husband would like best?

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  1. Thanks for the challenge! It’s a tough one, but worth it. I love the lovely picture of the couple in Venice. I think seeing an older couple walking, holding hands, or giving a little kiss is so precious!

  2. What’s the quote? The oldest coals burn the brightest. Counting on that!

  3. Becky says:

    I’m with you! Check out my 31 day marriage challenge, if you want!

  4. JustAnotherGirl says:

    Actually I remember many many years ago you made the comment to me (and no doubt you have no recollection of it, but I have never forgotten), that if I were a better wife my unsaved husband would be saved ( disclaimer I became saved many years after marrying him). I felt you laid a real guilt trip on me. But I will tell you this, we are still married after 35 years and most all of my Christian girlfriends whose husbands were ” saved” are all now divorced..some of them multiple times. 2 of them have been married 5 times. One of the latter was married 18 months ago and is already separated with divorce in mind because her Christian husband is out of work, in debt and not a “spiritual leader”, she claims now that the marriage is not “honoring God”, yet she claims she prayed before the marriage and God told her ” he is the one”, I guess she thinks a 5th divorce IS ” honoring God”..But hey ” Praise the Lord”, this same woman is a lay “counselor” at her church, lol, giving other Biblical advice on life’s issues. Another left her Christian husband after 25 years of marriage because he didn’t make her feel “special and romantic” anymore. She used to be so against divorce but hey her outlook on that changed when she wanted to leave hers. Funny how that happens huh…So she divorced him and hooked up a ” godly man” (her words) she had a crush on for some years and they used to pray together…he encouraged the divorce and in the end broke her heart and was found to be a big liar…I don’t know if my husband is now saved, but I do know that he is getting old and mentions ” going home to his Father”, I’ll let God be the Judge of his salvation. As in all things I will let Jesus be the Judge as to, was I a good wife.

  5. Since you don’t identify yourself I don’t see how I could possibly have any recollection of talking to you.
    I would hope I didn’t lay a guilt trip on you, but I can’t deny something for which I have no reference point. Were we in a Women’s Bible Study together? Were we friends? Did we live near one another? What was the context of the conversation?
    I’m not defending myself, but your approach leaves me with no way to make a genuine apology and seek restoration. You seem to know me, so feel free to contact me. I’d like an opportunity to remedy this.
    The only Scriptures that come to mind regarding this are 1 Corinthians 7:13-16

    However, I’m happy to hear that your marriage has endured and that you have real reason to hope that your husband does know Christ.
    I’m sorry to hear that so many of your Christian friends have divorced and seemingly not led lives that brought glory to God and encouragement to you.
    You are absolutely right that God is the ultimate Judge and He looks at our hearts.
    Thank you for your comment.

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My passion is to help you discover how God’s word can reach down into your heart and produce amazing transformations in you, your relationships, and your influence in the world around you. 

Hi, I'm Kelly

Blogger, Jesus Girl, Grace-believing optimist


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These actionable tips will help you to create a better marriage starting today. A perfect marriage is a myth, but a better marriage is a choice.

“When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” - Proverbs 31:26


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